While riding to a concert the other day I realized how shut off my heart has really been & just how closed my eyes have been, as well, to my life and what is really happening within it. They say things happen for a reason & that they happen when you least expect them. Well for the first time I truly experienced this happen to me. A friend was playing a CD of hers and very non chalantly asked me if I had ever heard it before, to which I replied "no". I was then blown away by the words and the power of one certain song and the chord that it struck within me. This song broke loose every thought, fear, dream, powerlessness & just plain emotion I have been bottling up about my life for quite some time now. I have been depressed and feeling very powerless about how I got to where I am in my life and feeling as though I am too late to get out of it as the responsibilities I have are to great to risk it for my own "selfish" dreams. This very moment brought to life something within me that made me realize that I have time, it is not too late and as long as their is a breathe in my body I WILL chase my dreams, for I will not look back and wonder what could have been. Parents lead by example and what kind of an example am I setting by just living and being complacent, yet not truly happy, because that is the easy thing to do even though it does not make me happy, fullfilled or enriched in any way? I am so grateful that I was able to open my heart and eyes and see this moment for what it was and what it meant. The song that means so much to me is "Distant Dreamer" by Duffy and these are the lyrics:
"Although you think I cope
My head is filled with hope of some place other than here
Although you think I smile
Inside and all the while I'm wondering about my destiny
I'm thinking about all the things
I'd like to do in my life
I'm a dreamer, a distant dreamer
Dreaming far away from today
Even when you see me frown my heart won't let me down
Because I know there's better things to come, woah yeah
And when life gets tough and I feel I've had enough
I hold on to a distant star
I'm thinking about, all the things
I'd like to do in my life
I'm a dreamer, a distant dreamer
Dreaming far away from today
I'm a dreamer, a distant dreamer
Dreaming far away from today
Yeah, I'm a Dreamer
I'm a Dreamer, a distant dreamer
Dreaming far away from today
Yeah, I'm a dreamer
I'm a dreamer"
To sum it up I really am a dreamer at heart I have so many hopes and dreams for my life that I cannot believe I have let myself get so complacent. I vow to change this as it will make me not only a better person, but a better parent.
To quote one of the greatest artists of all times "Some People say I'm a Dreamer...but I'm not the only One".
Oh.....by the way I was on my way to see Rain a Beatles Tribute Band. Ironic? You decide.
"I hope someday you will join us...and the world will live as one" I love that song, Abby! Hope your birthday was good. Sounds like a good song, I have never heard of Duffy though. I will look it up and try to listen to it.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you have been doing alot of thinking about your life and what you want. I hope you catch all of those dreams, and if I know you....you will. See ya!
Oh you know I love that song to and so does everyone else who ever heard me miss a call for about 4 years while it was my ringtone...HA. My birthday was nice. Nothing too exciting, and exactly how I would have asked for it to go, so, yes, it was good.
ReplyDeleteI have always been doing alot of thinking, but more so here recently. Not exactly sure why, either way I have though and I just need something more....and I WILL find it, don't yo worry!
I hope you are doing better. We will make lunch or dinner plans for some night in the next few weeks. I am super busy right now, but we will make plans for sure.