I Shed A Tear.....A Life Gone Before My Eyes

I watched a woman die the other day and as I stood there to watch her take her last breathe and watch her heart tire to its' very last beat, I could not help but feel a flood of various emotions racing throughout my own, very much alive, body and mind.  I shed so many tears, yet for so many more reasons than one would originally think.  Don't get me wrong, I was sad as well it was an emotionally charged room with an extreme aura of sadness and grief weighing heavily in the air, so heavily that it felt hard to breathe at times, yet I continued on, as in living and in healing there is no other choice.  There maybe no other choice, however I did shed a tear, a tear of happiness for the pure luck and happiness that I felt for getting to be there and be a part  of the process of watching this woman's years of life leave this world while being surrounded by so many people whom love and care for her so deeply.  I shed a tear of happiness for this woman, that she may now leave this world and all of her pain, suffering, worries & sorrows and go to be with the ones whom  have gone on before her, all the while knowing that the ones she is leaving behind will be OK.  They will be OK because she taught them how to be, she raised them to be, she prepared them to be, she made them nothing more than mighty warriors able, willing and ready for any battle even the this, the ultimate battle....losing their chief.  I can only hope to be so lucky as to have such an impact on so many.  With this being said I must also say that I shed a tear of sadness for those left behind.  Not only for being left behind, but also for their grief process to follow in the days, weeks and months to come.  Though I know in my heart that they all will be OK, I could not help but shed this tear, as losing such a close loved one and being the ones "left behind" is never easy, and in that one second between life and death the mind can race, change, play tricks on oneself and just plain overwhelm you.  A person is never prepared for that one second when it changes from one form to the other and reality hits you with a blow so hard it knocks the wind right out of you.  No going back, ever!  Life will never be the same and from this one second going forward you will have to find a new sense of normal.  No, no one is ever truly prepared for that 1 single split second when life as we know it ends and death comes to stake its claim on "our" loved one, as though they were ever truly ours to begin with.  I shed a tear because I never truly stopped to thank God that I, among so many others, were blessed just to have been a part of her life.  Janet Quinn I respect you, will miss you and may God Bless.